VOICE OVER: Callum Janes
WRITTEN BY: Ty Richardson
Though we may not understand him most of the time, Kenny has stolen the show on "South Park" on several occasions. For this list, we're taking a look at all the times Kenny McCormick prevailed over the rest of the South Park denizens. Our countdown includes when he saved Hawaii, when he was a true Superhero, when he commanded Heaven's army with a PSP, and more!
Though we may not understand him most of the time, Kenny has stolen the show on "South Park" on several occasions. For this list, we’re taking a look at all the times Kenny McCormick prevailed over the rest of the South Park denizens. Our countdown includes when he saved Hawaii, when he was a true Superhero, when he commanded Heaven's army with a PSP, and more! Which moment made you love Kenny most? Share with us in the comments below!
#10: Sabotaging Cartman’s NASCAR Career
“Poor and Stupid”
For some strange reason, Cartman believes that being incompetent and impoverished means you have the talent of becoming the best NASCAR driver. Being the superfan that he is, Kenny takes great offense to this and refuses to let Cartman get away with his insulting beliefs while potentially succeeding as a NASCAR driver. And so, Kenny takes it upon himself to sabotage his friend’s races, going so far as to try and bring a sniper rifle with him and even leaping onto the track mid-race. Though his attempts are unsuccessful, Cartman’s career does crash and burn in the most humiliating way possible.
#9: Picture Day
“How to Eat With Your Butt”
Just like with any other school, there’s always one kid who has to pull something ridiculous for Picture Day, and Kenny had the best idea. For his photos, Kenny has put his clothes on in such a way that his butt ends up where his face should be. Hilarious? Oh, a hundred percent! But the joke stops being funny to Cartman once a couple mistakes Kenny’s photo for their missing son. And yes, these grieving parents also have rear ends for faces. Honestly, our biggest question was “how come none of the other adults noticed Kenny was pulling a prank on them?”
#8: Working at City Wok
“The City Part of Town”
For Kenny McCormick, life is hard. His parents are drunks, and there never seems to be enough money for proper meals and a decent childhood. And so, he takes it upon himself to get a job at City Wok. How Mr. Kim managed to get away with child labor is beyond us. Luckily, he does pay Kenny, and we soon find out why Kenny took the job to begin with. With what little cash he managed to earn from Mr. Kim, Kenny buys a doll for his sister. What a sweet big brother!
#7: Saving Hawaii
On account of Butters being angry with everyone but him, Kenny somehow ends up having to go to Hawaii for Butters’ Hapa Noa. Unfortunately, a series of events leads the Hawaiians to believe that Kenny might bring an end to them, forcing him to prove himself as a Hawaiian. Though he disappoints with his surfing skills, Kenny manages to turn things around with a little bit of help from Elvis Presley…and a large supply of beverages. With the Hawaiians having more ingredients for chi-chis, Kenny successfully saves the islands.
#6: Owning in Magic: The Gathering
If you’ve ever played “Magic: The Gathering”, you’ll know how complex of a game it can become, what with several decades worth of cards made since 1993. However, we didn’t anticipate Kenny to be the MTG Master between the boys. Throughout the episode, Kenny obliterates his opponents with all of the powerful cards in his deck, and he does so with great confidence. Doesn’t matter if you have been playing for years or if you are only a chicken, Kenny makes it clear that he has the perfect deck assembled, and he is prepared to wipe the floor with you.
#5: Commanding Heaven’s Army
“Best Friends Forever”
All Kenny wants to do is play his brand new PSP and conquer the new game, “Heaven vs. Hell”. He’s so enthralled with his game that he practically shuts out the entire world, which gets himself hit by an ice cream truck. Surprisingly, his PSP skills will be put to the test as the real Heaven is about to be invaded by Hell’s army. And so, God appoints him as the commander of Heaven’s forces. As expected, Kenny does not disappoint and manages to fend off Satan and his minions…though it did come with some casualties.
#4: Protecting Karen
“The Poor Kid”
As we saw in the episode where Kenny works at City Wok, he is one of the best brothers we’ve seen on television, an absolute role model. This side of Kenny is shown once more in the episode, “The Poor Kid”, where he dons his Mysterion persona. Karen is having trouble fitting into her new school and is about to get assaulted by the school bully, Jessica Pinkerton. Luckily, Kenny comes in to save the day. He not only gives the bully a taste of her own medicine, but he also grabs Karen to bring her to safety. Big Brother of the Century, folks!
#3: Becoming a Princess
The Black Friday Trilogy
For some reason, Kenny does not desire to be a barbarian, a ranger, or even a cleric. No, when the boys are playing “Game of Thrones”, Kenny wants to be a princess. Sounds absurd, yes, but it isn’t until much later when we understand why he had this ambition. To aid Kenny and his army in the console war, tech company Sony gives Kenny what he needs to become a true princess. With Sony’s medallion, Kenny possesses the powers of a true magical anime princess and proceeds to stop entire shipments of Xbox consoles. We have a feeling this was all just to give Cartman the bird.
#2: Being a True Superhero
When it comes to playing superheroes, Kenny is much, much different than the rest of the kids. See, the kids don their superhero personas because they’re simply pretending to be superheroes. Kenny, on the other hand, DOES possess a superpower - being unable to truly die. Under the guise of Mysterion, he actually uses this as a means to legitimately fight crime, acting as the Dark Knight to South Park’s Gotham. From exposing his foster parents’ abusive behavior to bringing down a cult to aiding in Cthulhu’s defeat, Kenny is absolutely the hero we don’t deserve, but the hero South Park needs.
#1: Convincing Satan to Dump Saddam Hussein
“South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut” (1999)
Satan is trapped in an abusive relationship with former dictator Saddam Hussein. Whereas the Dark Lord wants something serious, Hussein wants only one thing. Things take a turn for the worse when Terrance and Philip are executed, fulfilling a prophecy that will allow Satan and his army to invade Earth. However, Kenny gets some one-on-one with Satan a few times, telling him to ditch Hussein so he may live a better life. At the film’s climax, Satan finally reaches his breaking point and hurls Hussein off a cliff. As thanks for building his confidence, Satan lets Kenny make one request, no stipulations. Kenny, being the kind soul he is, simply wishes for everything to return to normal, thus saving South Park and the world.